Planning a wedding can be stressful for any bride, but it can be especially overwhelming when the groom is not involved in the process. This is why it is important for men to step up and help out wherever they can. In this blog post, we will discuss 10 ways that men can help make wedding planning less stressful for their wives wives to be. By taking on some of these tasks, you will be able to lighten her load and make the process more enjoyable for both of you!
Men often have a tendency to see wedding planning as a woman's domain. It's understandable, as it's girls and women who are raised being told how special their wedding day will be. If you're marrying a woman, it's likely she has a lot of ideas about what she wants her wedding to look like to make it perfect, while you might feel a lot more relaxed about it. But just because much of the wedding industry is geared towards women, it doesn't mean that the day is just for the bride. It's your wedding too and that means that you should play a part in the wedding – both the fun stuff and the boring stuff.
Why Is It Essential That Men Are Involved In Wedding Planning?
Marriage is a partnership and while there are still many inequities between couples, planning a wedding is probably the largest challenge that the two of you will have done together so far in your relationship.
Because of this, it is essential that men are included in the process as much as the groom wants and of course that requires the bride to articulate her vision and incorporate ideas that the man may have as well. This is "her show" but this is ultimately a celebration featuring the joining of two people's lives.
If it is only one sided then it can start the marriage on a weak foundation. This is clearly something that is in nobody's interests.
Additionally, both the bride and groom will have different perspectives when it comes to the celebration as well as ceremony and it is also essential that the groom's family traditions and culture be reflected in the event.
Things Men Should Avoid Doing When It Comes To Helping Plan The Wedding
There are ultimately a lot of things that men should avoid doing during the wedding planning process but it comes down to a few key items:
-Don't try to take over: It's great that you want to help out and be involved, but resist the urge to take over everything. This is her day too, after all!
-Don't be a yes man: If you're not comfortable with something or have a different opinion, don't be afraid to speak up. It's important to compromise and find a middle ground that works for both of you.
-Don't disappear: The planning process can be long and drawn out, but it's important to stick it out until the end. Your bride will need your support more than ever during this time, so make sure you're there for her.
-Don't lose your temper: Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to keep your cool. Losing your temper will only make things harder for everyone involved.
What Are Some Ways That The Groom Can Help With Wedding Planning?
The following list of ideas should not be taken as an absolute list of things to do / not do, every couple is different and individuals have different strengths, weaknesses, and desires. However, the key thing here is that while men shouldn't be subjected to a wedding experience that they don't like ... this is her day and the groom's role is to help her make it as close to her vision as possible.
Take On Some Of The Less Fun (but important) Tasks
Offer to take on some of the less fun tasks. Nobody likes doing paperwork or making phone calls, but somebody has to do it. Offer to handle some of these less desirable tasks so your bride can focus on the more enjoyable aspects of wedding planning.
Provide Examples And Inspiration For The Groom's Elements Of The Wedding
The groom's elements of the wedding are often overlooked but they are just as important as the bride's. Make sure you provide examples and inspiration for the things you want so the wedding planner can get a better idea of what you're looking for. These elements include things such as what style of tuxedos the groomsmen will be wearing as well as music selections for the groom's traditional dance with his mom.
Be A Supportive Listener
Your bride is going to have a lot of ideas about the wedding – some that you will love and others that you might not be so fond of. Be a supportive sounding board for her ideas and offer constructive feedback. But ultimately, let her make the decisions about what she wants.
Coordinate The Important Paperwork
Wedding planning can be boring at times, but there are important things you need to deal with. There are usually some legal matters to handle, including making sure you've followed the correct process to get a marriage license and make your marriage legal. If you're marrying someone from another country, you may even need to look into fiancé visa requirements. You don't want to end up having to deal with any sticky legal issues at the last minute. So make sure you get all of these sorted in advance.
Manage Communication With The Groom's Side Of The Family
Weddings can be incredibly stressful since everyone from aunts and uncles you've never met to your very own parents will insist on being involved in the planning process. Some of these ideas will be good ... and others simply a distraction. One important way that a man can be involved in the wedding planning process is to act as the "go to guy" for his side of the family to talk with when proposing ideas or asking questions.
While this won't be foolproof and the bride should never be walled off from the conversation, it can help reduce her level of stress as well as reducing the likelihood of blow ups in response to unappreciated feedback from future in-laws.
Help With Organizing Plans
Many brides will want to maintain their own wedding book of specific ideas and inspirations that they've collected during the engagement period. However, staying organized while you're planning will make it easier to make sure everything goes right. There are lots of ways you can keep track of everything, whether you use a traditional binder to file all of your important details away or you take a more modern approach and use various apps and digital files to keep everything together. Make sure you get yourself organized for the big day too, making sure you're going to be there on time and everything will be in place.
Wedding Websites and Computer Related Tasks
There are many women who are very technologically proficient today when it comes to things like setting up the wedding website or coordinating streaming details. However, generally speaking this is often an area that men with these skills can carve out for themselves.
Take The Lead On Planning The Honeymoon
After all the craziness of wedding planning is over, it will be time to enjoy the fruits of your labor – the honeymoon! This is something that you can really take the lead on and make sure everything is planned out perfectly. Your bride will no doubt have lots of ideas about where she wants to go and what she wants to do, but it's up to you to make sure all the details are sorted out.
Control Your Emotions And Avoid Saying (Or Doing!) Anything You'll Regret
Wedding planning can be extremely stressful. There will be moments during the engagement period that will absolutely make any man question if this is truly the woman he should be planning to commit to spending the rest of his life with. Just remember that this is a stressful time and try to avoid any outbursts or arguments. If you can make it through the wedding planning process without any major incidents, it will only make your relationship stronger.
Make A List Of Things You Can Do To Help Out And Stick To It!
When it comes to actually helping out with the wedding plans, some men are all talk and no action. If you want to be truly helpful, sit down with your bride and ask her what she needs help with. Make a list of things that you can do to take some of the load off of her shoulders and then make sure you follow through on your commitments. This may include things like taking care of RSVPs, booking transportation or even handling some of the décor set up but whatever it is ... do it!
This process of making a list will also be a great way to address any conflicts or misunderstandings at the beginning of the wedding planning process. For example, during this discussion of who does what, your wife to be may express her interest - or lack there of - in doing certain things that you can do for her.
if you didn't take this opportunity to talk then both parties might just assume that the other one was going to do it and then that sets the fuse on a problem down the road when there's more pressure and less time to get things right.
Wedding planning should be a job for (at least) two, so make sure you're playing your part when you're getting ready for the big day.