As a man, dating in your thirties can prove to be a quagmire. For most men in this age group, you may notice that you look at dating differently than you did when you were in your twenties. This may have to do with wanting to have a more mature relationship, societal pressures, and even accomplishing goals you have set for yourself. Below are some tips to help you navigate the ever-changing dating scene.
Take Your Time
The phrase that good things come to those who wait rings true in this case. Contrary to popular opinion, as men, we get lonely, more so in our thirties. However, loneliness doesn’t mean you should accept every woman that comes your way.
When you are in your thirties, the pressure to settle down and have kids are piled on even more. This is all the more reason you need to take your time to evaluate your future partner and mother to your future kids. So take your time to enjoy the dating experience before you rush to commit.
Standards and Expectations
When you were in your 20s, you probably did not have as many standards for the women you met. All that mattered were good looks. When you are comfortable in your thirties, you start to realize that your priorities shift, and your taste and preference for women evolve. You may now want to date a woman with more substance and quality in her work and social life.
A good tip is always to communicate what you are looking for from the onset. This will help you attract a woman on the same wavelength as you in terms of needs and wants from a relationship. Stating your standards enables you to avoid unnecessary quarrels and provides a smoother dating life. The golden rule is to know what you want first and then attract the same qualities.
Dating Apps
If you are open to the idea, dating apps can be an excellent place to find a partner. Most apps use an algorithm that connects you to like-minded individuals based on what you answered on the application forms. Some men may find it easier to go through profiles of women they like and decide on how to proceed with the information you gather. To avoid running the risk of being catfished and for safety purposes, refrain from adding highly personal details that may be detrimental to you.
The general rule is to meet potential partners in public places. Even as a man, ensure that you share your location with your friends so that they can track you at all times. Remember to be polite; meeting women online does not mean that common decency should be abandoned. Treat all dates with the women you have met on the dating apps as you would if a friend had personally introduced you to a woman. A plus for using dating apps is that you are exposed to many women, which may make you choose better and is also a learning experience.
Be Outgoing
Let's face it, we are all busy but staying indoors will limit your options, especially if you are not into dating apps. To increase your chances of meeting a suitable partner, you can try going to the gym, church, and social clubs. These are tested ways to meet singles, and many men have met their lifelong partners through these places.
Don't Assume You'll Have Sex But Be Prepared
Sex should never be expected or assumed by either partner but things happen faster sometimes when you are in your 30s. Unlike when you are younger, it is highly likely that one or both partners has already had multiple sexual encounters. As a result, the barrier of virginity is less of a factor than it might be when you are dating someone in his or her 20's for instance.
As a result, you should be always be prepared to have condoms ready as well as potentially even a dop kit that has your toothbrush, mouthwash, deodorant etc. available in your car should you need to freshen up.
Additionally, you might even want to just take the edge off before so that you can last longer should things work out. While hands are great, toys can be even better. If you aren't sure you want to invest in one, don't worry there are plenty of home solutions available too. For instance, here's how to make a fleshlight using simple items found around the house.
Live in the Present
By the time you are dating in your thirties, you will have some less ideal and even outright bad experiences in relationships. These can leave a bad taste in your mouth, especially if you're a divorcee, your partner cheated on you, or ghosted you. A sage of wisdom is to let the past stay in the past and move on. Allow yourself some time to heal if you have just gotten out of a bad relationship because dating a new person when you are hurt only clouds your judgment.
Being in a happy and positive place in your life makes you notice things faster, and you can discern what you like and what you don't. If you practice some of the tips discussed in this article, dating in your thirties needs not be a nerve-racking experience. The biggest tip is always to communicate, and talking about how you feel can only bring you and your partner closer.
