Ways To Cope With Your New Life A Recently Divorced Man
Far from the bad reputation of spinsters (hello Miss Havisham?), bachelors have always received something of a metaphorical slap on the back. It’s the life, isn’t it, pleasing yourself and kitting out the bachelor pad of kings? Many a married man would do anything just to get a sniff of the freedom you have. Let’s face it; you don’t even have to wear pants if you don’t want to!
But, for all its glam, far more bachelors than people realize struggle with their single-man realities. After all, once you get past the joys of watching what you want on television or being able to stretch shower days a little longer than you might otherwise, there’s an inherent loneliness in the single lifestyle, even for guys.
But, all is not lost. In fact, men and women alike are increasingly finding ways to embrace the single lifestyle and come out better for it. So, if your bachelor life has gone bad right now, it’s time to sit up and take notice. We see you, and we want you to know that things can get better, even without a special someone.
To make sure that happens, simply take the following steps to a bachelor life that’s actually worth the hype.
Focus on Friends
Friends have to be the best possible bachelor elixir. After all, it’s not so much the lack of relationship that gets people down so much as loneliness. But your own company isn’t all that bad, especially when you can integrate it with time spent among the best friends possible.
In many ways, friendships can be better for your quality of life than romantic entanglements because they come without a lot of the messy stuff. Jealousy, stress, and other negative relationship issues certainly don’t often creep into friendship groups.
So, instead of dwelling on your bachelor life, bring friends more to the fore of your evenings. By hosting dinner parties or just going all out with games nights and a simple drink in a bar after work, you can enjoy all the fun of socialization without the crossed boundaries. Other bachelor friends will be particularly useful in this situation because they’ll get it 100%. Not to mention that they’ll always be around to put a smile on your face, or just remind you that your single life isn’t so bad after all.
Stop Waiting Around
This one’s fairly obvious, but it’s worth saying anyway. After all, there’s such a ‘relationship’ narrative in everything we do that the temptation to wait around for ‘the one’ is kind of inherent.
Even if you’re one of these bachelors that claim they love the freedom single life brings, you may thus secretly be waiting for that special lady to come along and sweep you off your feet.
This is a problem for a few reasons, and it’s a way of thinking that you should put to the side sooner rather than later if you want to be happy. Namely, this ‘romance will save me’ mindset means that other relationships, such as the friendships mentioned, will always feel like cheap imitations rather than the lifesavers they should be.
What’s more, and perhaps most pressingly, it’s fair to say that wanting a relationship so badly could make you less likely to find one. Strange, we know, but they aren’t lying when they say that things come easiest to those who are no longer looking. Love really does have a habit of coming to you the moment you stop actively seeking it out.
So, stop looking for the love of your life today. Instead, start seeking happiness that comes from within, and enjoy the benefits this changed mentality has on your bachelor life at last.
Make Things Happen For Yourself
In roughly the same vein, many of us wait until we’re in that comfortable relationship before actually making the big life things happen. Namely, we put significant life purchases like a house and a car on hold until we find someone to share them with.
Unfortunately, this can enhance that ‘life on hold’ feeling that’s bringing staleness to the forefront of your bachelorhood. And, it needn’t be the case. In truth, having yourself up and together makes you a more appealing romantic prospect anyway. But, even if it didn’t, your life is happening now, not in a few years when (if?) you find your special someone.
With that in mind, it’s time to act. Admittedly, not having a split income can make big purchases a little more difficult, but there are plenty of ways to get a reasonable home loan when there’s only one of you. Even when it comes to your vehicle, there are single-suitable options such as financing or used dealerships like Bokan Auto Center, allowing you to secure the car of your dreams despite your single income. Though these may seem like small steps, you’d be surprised by how much of a difference they could make to your life and the way you see your bachelorhood in turn.
Fill Your Days With New Focuses
Even if you’ve got the friends and the fundamentals to leave your bad bachelor days behind you, it’s not unusual to slump when you struggle to fill your days. After all, there’s a whole lot of downtime when you only have yourself to please. This is why many bachelors fall into extreme work patterns that take them even further from happiness.
We want better than that for you, which is why we’re finishing this article with a plea - please find new focuses to fill your days. This needn’t be anything extreme, but hobbies can work wonders for helping you to find happiness even when friends and work can’t distract you.
The shape these hobbies take depends on you. Anything from gaming to making, right through to something as simple as reading, could fill the void. With these go-to's, your alone time at home will feel less like a curse, and more like something you can finally start looking forward to.