It's not easy to get over a severe breakup. It takes time and patience to heal from the hurt of losing someone who you loved deeply. But it is possible. There are many things that you can do in order to help speed up your healing process, such as talking about what happened with friends or family members, going out into the world more often, and even putting on some upbeat music! We've compiled 5 steps for men looking to get over a severe breakup fast.
Throw Away Anything That Triggers Memories
Objects have the power to trigger memories and that's the last thing you want when trying to get over a break-up. You might rationalize that you could get back together in the future and regret it, but this is very common. You need to bite the bullet and address the current situation instead of considering the future. However, it does happen that people get back together. At the very least, you should put all things that pertain to your previous relationship in storage. Discarding it is more preferable though because it ensures that you can't dig them out to gawk over and open up the wound again.
Take Some Time For Self Care
Taking time for yourself is important after a severe break-up. You need to take care of your body and mind in order to heal properly. Self care for men is just as important as it is for women. Consider getting some exercise, catching up on sleep, trying new things like food or activities that you haven't done before, reading about what other people are doing when they're feeling down so you can see there's hope even if it doesn't look promising right now.
The important thing here is to give yourself a time to recover and repair your physical and mental health. This unfortunately is something most men don't do as well as women but it is just as important to our wellbeing - especially after a severe breakup.
Don't Panic When Feeling Down
No matter how bad the mood swing feels, don't panic. Anxiousness will only make matters worse because then the thoughts might spiral into something else negatively thinking "I'm never gonna get over this" - which isn't true! The fear of not being able to get over it only adds to the anxiety.
Like above, mental health can be challenging for men. From the time we were boys, men are taught to always be strong and never show weakness. This attitude works well to a certain point but when emotions reach a critical stage it can be very dangerous to your mental health should those barriers start to break down.
Don't Feel Guilty For The Break-Up
It's natural and healthy for you to feel guilty after a severe break up, but don't let that guilt stop your healing process. You need to forgive yourself and accept what happened even if there was something you did wrong or didn't do right in order to move on. Beating yourself about past events will not help with anything; instead of focusing on how things could have gone differently, focus on what you can learn from this experience so when the time comes again - hopefully someday later down the road - that you'll be stronger and wiser enough not to make those same mistakes!
Nurture Your Current Friendships
Now is the time to start building your other friendships. Surely your friends noticed you weren't spending as much time with them before you started dating, and now is a time to rekindle the flame and find new activities together. They will be happy you have more time on your hands and will also serve as a supportive network of advice from different perspectives. Perhaps you might have a friend who has dealt with a break-up before who can give you their personal tips on how they got through it. It's also encouraging to see someone who is happy after dealing with the pain because that is great motivation for you to look on the bright side. Your friends have your back and now is the time to focus on them and recover faster.
View Being Single As An Opportunity To Focus On Yourself
Relationships have a tendency to take away from your personal hobbies because you're spending more time on their needs and interests. Now that you're single it's a great idea to focus more on your studies in school or perhaps pick up where you left off on learning that instrument. Stimulating the mind with new and exciting activities is what will help rather than stagnating and dwelling on the past. If she broke up with you then that can be a hit on your self-esteem so nurturing a new hobby will help you increase it again. Activities that combine the elements of friends and a common goal like being in a band or sports team are the perfect distraction. It's also a great time to evaluate your priorities and think about the future because relationships can cloud your vision at times.
Remember There Are Always More Fish
The old cliche, "There's always more fish in the sea" rings true after any breakup and serves as a necessary reminder that the fact remains. When you're with someone, it feels like they are the only person on the planet you could be with and no one else could possibly match with you like them. While they might be unique, there are many other personalities out there that might be better. It's a good idea to focus on what went wrong and fine-tune your search for the future. Evaluate what differences you had and keep that in mind when you decide to date again. It's important to take some time between relationships instead of jumping into a new one immediately. This is a recipe for more pain that should be avoided.
Consider Seeing A Counselor
If the breakup is particularly severe and you dated for a longer period of time then perhaps it would be wise to see a relationship counselor who can help you gather perspective. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, and a professional guide along with your parents is nothing to be ashamed of. Counselors are there to help you decompress and find solutions based on your situation to thrive and recover from a difficult emotional breakup. Sessions can be conducted for the duration of the aftermath and this will help you find some more balance in the stormy sea of emotions. It's very easy to get negative and jump to conclusions or have impulsive reactions to feelings of rejection. Counselors can help to settle them and bring you to a state of peace and mental well-being.
Take A Trip With Family
Sometimes you might be suffering from the aftermath of a breakup more severely if you're constantly in a familiar environment where you used to kiss and say I love you. It would be advantageous to simply get away from these locations for a while if possible. Perhaps taking a trip to the beach or an amusement park will serve as the perfect retreat to get over a break-up. You'd be surprised how beneficial a change of scenery can be, especially when sharing it with those who love you. This can be for a couple of days or a week depending on what is necessary. Going over to friend's houses to spend the night is also a nice way to reset your brain with a new environment. Everyone has something that cheers them up and there are many fun destinations to choose from that will help you forget the pain and realize there are still joyous times to experience!
Take Time For Self Reflection An Examine What Went Wrong
No matter who broke up with who ... there's almost always some blame to go around. Whether your handled a bad situation poorly or you were directly to blame, taking a moment to examine the situation and how it played out will be a benefit to your mental health now as well as your relationships in the future.
This isn't a time to cast blame or to punish yourself - even if you did something stupid! Instead, this is your time to take a deep breath and figure out how you can handle things better in the future.
The key to recovering from a severe breakup is to stay focused on your priorities and set attainable goals. Keep yourself busy with new hobbies, get into activities you enjoy that will make friends for support, take care of yourself by seeing a counselor if necessary, use time away in different locations as an escape or when going back home try not to go too often in the same places where memories are made. Remember that there are more fish out there waiting! There's always someone better suited for you and it's important to know what differences were between both parties before dating again. Take care of your mind first because our mental health can be affected after any break-up which might lead us down a path we don't want so remember all the good things in your life.