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men and divorce

A common cliche when it comes to men and divorce is that the men will shrug it off, and embrace some sort of inner manliness. While there are many men who will deal with divorce in this matter, it's not productive, especially when we consider the overall stigma and the pressures that men can feel and having to embody a "stiff upper lip." Society makes the demand that men should be self-confident and assured, even though they are hurting deep inside. And for all of these cliches, it's important to wade through these and recognize how to handle divorce. 

Make Sure it Does Not Affect Your Children

If you are prone to emotional reactions, this will be further amplified in divorce. But the important thing to remember is to make sure you do not bring the children into this, because it is going to affect their whole life. When specialists like the Spodek Law Group deal with visitation rights and the divorce process, they are always there to provide helpful mediation. And it's important to recognize that divorce is a formal process. And you shouldn't let your emotions cloud your judgement. This is especially true when it comes to your children. If you are limited in your visitation rights, you've got to avoid blaming the mother in front of your children. Think about quality time rather than quantity time. So remember to set the example. 

Avoiding Reconciliation

If you want to make peace with your spice, you can still be an effective co-parent, but you shouldn't try to escape the fact that part of your life has disappeared. If you find yourself stuck in the denial phase, you may be begging to be taken back. It's important to recognize the grieving process. The grieving cycle breaks down into five areas:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

If you are in the denial phase, think about processing these thoughts, and embrace the unknown. The only way to move on is to go through these five stages and live through the feelings. 

Don't Lose Control Over Your Feelings

Going back to this idea of men being emotionally strong, the problem is that many men can suppress their feelings. Having that fear of breaking down can result in a sudden outburst further down the line. Remember that you are in charge of your own reactions, and should know whether to let this out so you can minimize further emotional damage. 

Wait Until You Are Free Before Seeing Someone Else

Going through a divorce means that you are back on the market, however, you think that you can heal better by starting all over again and dating other women either to exact revenge or to give yourself that confidence boost. But this strategy only worsens relationships. If you want to have a meaningful relationship after your divorce, you've got to make sure that you are emotionally ready. 

Divorce can take some time to get over, and while it's different for each individual, we've got to go through the grieving stages, and realize there are no quick fixes. You are human, and recognize that divorce is painful, but it can be an amazing way to heal yourself as well.

Written by:
#MenWhoBlog MemberBlogging GuruThought Leader

James' passion for exploration and sense of duty to his community extends beyond himself. This means he is dedicated to providing a positive role model for other men and especially younger guys that need support so that they can thrive and be future positive contributors to society. This includes sharing wisdom, ideas, tips, and advice on subjects that all men should be familiar with, including: family travel, men's health, relationships, DIY advice for home and yard, car care, food, drinks, and technology. Additionally, he's a travel advisor and a leading men's travel influencer who has been featured in media ranging from New York Times to the Chicago Tribune, and LA Times. He's also been cited by LA Weekly "Top Travel Bloggers To Watch 2023" and featured by Muck Rack: "Top 10 Outdoor Journalists for 2022".

He and his wife Heather live in St Joseph, Michigan - across the lake from Chicago.