"Being stuck at home has been terrible for my wife and I'd relationship, what advice do you guys have to help get us back on track and rekindle our romance?" - sent to us by anonymous
I think we all can identify with the challenges of being stuck at home without an opportunity to escape, blow off some steam, and try new things. You aren't alone.
Since the pandemic, many guys have been stuck at home with their wives for weeks on end. This is a difficult time to maintain that romantic spark in a relationship and needs some work. Here are some ways that you can help rekindle your romance after being cooped up with your wife or girlfriend for too long:
Plan Something Fun To Do Together Like Dinner Out Or Going To See A Movie
If you wait until the last minute, she will probably get frustrated and not want to go. Do it early so that she can save up her energy for whatever activity you have planned for her.
Make Sure Your Wife Or Girlfriend Knows How Much You Appreciate Her
You both just went through a really rough time as a couple which made you closer because of the hardship. This is an opportune time to show that love and appreciation in front of all others (especially children) who may be present in the household. Make sure everyone knows how valuable she is to you, since this will also make any stepmothers jealous at what they see, making them give mom less attention while showering more affection on their stepchildren. Never underestimate the power of jealousy!
Try To Understand And Appreciate Her Stress Points Too
You should also remember things which may be stressing your wife or girlfriend out as well; maybe unforeseen financial burdens, family members causing problems, or just about anything else that could be on their mind right now...if so then don't try to force yourself upon them while
Recharge Yourself By Getting Outside Every Day And Enjoying The Fresh Air
Sometimes all that is needed is a change of venue. Getting some exercise will help invigorate the body and extra oxygen to the brain will also help with the libido. Don't treat this as an excursion to find a tree to make out under, but take things slow without any expectations. This is just a time for the two of you to spend some time outside getting fresh air and enjoying the natural beauty all around you.
Remind Her Of Good Times Before The Pandemic
Remember what made you two fall in love. You might be thinking that you're just going to go back to normal now, but she may still be holding on to some feelings for the romantic times when things seemed simpler and less stressful for both of you.
It may also help if you bring up the subject with your wife or girlfriend and talk about how life was like before everything went down hill; remind her of all fun times which may have slipped her mind while she has been worrying about more important things such as survival. She'll appreciate hearing memories from another perspective, not just how it affected you, since there are only so many ways a person can describe a particular event no matter how many times it happens.
Don't Forget About Romance Outside Of The Bedroom As Well
Just because you're home does not mean that you just have to automatically go straight for sex as soon as things start heating up between you and your wife or girlfriend. Sure, being romantic in public can be risky at times since there are children around so do it when the kids are or out playing with another adult who is also watching them very closely (like an older sibling).
Maybe even consider taking a vacation where you can escape and try something new like a wine cruise in California.
Start Small With Some Romantic Gestures
Get creative by cooking her favorite meal, making her favorite dish, lighting candles around the house, or giving her a back massage.
Always remember that most of this stuff is trial and error: try one thing then see if works if not then try something else. No technique always works with every woman all the time, but could work with some women under certain conditions depending on different factors like
Here's Some Additional Advice From the "Ask The Men" Team!
Here are some additional pieces of advice from members of our "Ask The Men" team of male bloggers and influencers. Let's see what they have to say about helping to rekindle your romance after being stuck at home because of the pandemic.
My advice is to get comfortable being in the same room as your partner, without actually spending time with them. To make this more actionable, have a conversation with them about it. You'll both feel like you're getting a bit of (much needed) space. In terms of rekindling romance, that's easy: lots and lots of sex. Neither of you will feel like it, so you'll have to be the man and actually initiate. I think people often forget how important sex is for a healthy relationship. Oh, and do date nights. Twice a month we turn off all the lights, put out a bunch of those cheap LED candles, dress up all fancy-like, and have dinner. It's a lot of fun and feels special.
This is a hard one because everyone’s at different levels of comfort in going out, but if you are both comfortable get out of the house, book an Air BnB for a weekend, plan some activities, and get back to normal life.